What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 26.06.2025 07:59
Make Nazis afraid again!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
How do I run away? I'm 15 and live in Oklahoma.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
What is the most interesting question you can ask to get to know someone?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Why do British people always write "xxx" after their names?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
What's the gayest thing you have experienced on an only boys sleepover?
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
TEXT:
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!